It’s okay. We weren’t supposed to be the generation of change, anyway. We were supposed to re-usher in an era of fat, stupid, white men with their grubby fat fingers on the dials of the economy, democracy and science, sliding underneath the fabric of society where they just had to pretend to belong in order to be given permission.
We were supposed to boldly fizzle, buy our SUVs and move to the suburbs like our hippie parents.
We were supposed to take on novel, self-righteous opinions about small things and leave the big ones to the important people. We’re sorry it turned out to be the same fat white men as before but that’s the breaks. Have some Kellog’s Kashi and some Odwalla by Coca-Cola and relax. You can still complain about stuff, they’ll never ban that! You can complain on Complaintz by Zuckerberg or Complaint Feed Live by Facebook by Zuckerberg or Complaint Streamerang by Instagram by Facebook by Zuckerberg.
We can still move to California and work for a startup and complain with our friends/coworkers and talk light-heartedly about secession. It’ll be fun! And we’ll teach our kids to fight the man and stick up for real change, just like our parents did.
We weren’t supposed to be the generation-of-change anyway.
I mean we would have been but the economy just crapped out on us and student loans are real expensive. I wanted to be heroic and fight the good fight but no one told me how much eight percent on two hundred thousand dollars really is.
Sam is in the next room sleeping. I don’t even think she knows yet. She has a hearing in the morning with a federal judge so she went to sleep early. Speaking of federal judges!!! Oh wait, TOO SOON?!?!?! LOLOL the court is going to suck for 40 years now! Assuming there is a court in 40 years. Let’s make memes about it guys. Only memes can save us now. We weren’t supposed to be the generation of change anyway. Hashtag make america FUUUUUUUUUCK again. Hashtag we had a good run comma america. Hashtag in before world war three hashtag in before annexation by russia.
So It’s settled—we’ll make memes. We’ll make memes and we’ll make hashtags and we’ll make a hundredth of a cent per word per clickthrough. We’ll make the mistakes they knew we’d make. We’ll make excuses. We’ll take easy. We’ll take the buyout. I thought this was your battle. We weren’t supposed to be the generation of change, anyway.